Only Dead Fish Go With the Flow

“Australia is a great place to live”, I would tell my audiences, "but it only has one major problem, it was “discovered” by the English.

The English as you all know have 10 times the population of the Scots, but only 50% of the brain power, intellect and good looks.”

So after discovering Australia, these Englishmen sailed back to London and told the rulers that they had found a place 100 times the size of England, with great farming, fishing and mineral wealth.

The rulers, of limited brain power, then insisted in gathering the ne’er-do-wells, the have-nots and the petty criminals in the main square and told them that “you’re all going to Australia !”

Now if the Scots had discovered the place, and reported back to the rulers in Edinburgh that they had found a place 100 times the size of Scotland, with great farming, fishing and mineral wealth.

The Scots rulers, of much greater intellect than their English counterparts, also would have insisted in gathering the ne’er-do- wells, the have-nots and the petty criminals in the main square and told them that “you’re all staying here, but we’re going away for a while!”

Most audiences will laughingly dismiss this observation from a Scotsman, but on a serious note, the colony of Australia started as a prison with tiers of rules and regulations to keep the locals under tight control.