Marriage Should Remain the Gold Standard

Since my appointment to the Senate I have written letters of congratulations to those reaching 100 years of age or celebrating a golden wedding anniversary. I must have personally signed thousands of such letters and always do so with a smile. To me these events are truly significant and with each signature, a part of me celebrates with them.

Over time I have written to the same people more than once as they reach other milestones of longevity – either personal or marital union. Thanks to medical technology more of us are living through our tenth decade but I suspect that far fewer of us will be celebrating magnificent marriage milestones in the future.

Having just signed a congratulatory letter to a couple celebrating their 73rd wedding anniversary, I cannot help but wonder how many other couples will get anywhere near this feat.

And quite a feat it is. The very idea of spending 73 years married to the same person would be incredulous to many people today. And yet marriage is a covenant which was always intended to be entered into ‘until death do us part’. As we live longer, why then are we failing to live up to this promise?

A thousand experts could spend years and still not provide the answer but that doesn’t mean we should give up on marriage and its importance to our society.

Is it any coincidence that as the stability of marriage appears to have declined in our community, the level of social disorder and dysfunction seems to have risen proportionately?

Columnist Miranda Devine reported that a UK family court judge recently noted that family breakdown is the cause of most social ills and that, despite its faults, marriage should be restored as the “gold standard” and social stigma should be re-applied to those who destroy family life.

“What is a matter of private concern when it is on a small scale becomes a matter of public concern when it reaches epidemic proportions,” the judge said.

I couldn’t agree more.

Over decades past, the social mores that have sustained our society have progressively broken down. Whilst only anecdotal, the increasing prevalence of non-permanent relationships replacing the traditional role of marriage appears to be having a negative impact on our children and our society.

We have higher levels of teen depression and suicide than ever before. Substance abuse, violence and bullying are increasingly prevalent, while an array of newly identified ‘disorders’ afflict growing numbers of children.

Something is clearly going wrong but one would be hard pressed to place your finger on exactly what it is. Some may link video games with violence, new media with bullying or drug use with depression. However, one cannot fail to identify that many of these issues have coincided with a decline in our societal attitude towards marriage.

Too often when marriages fail, a father or mother is replaced with a revolving door of lovers who temporarily assume the parental role. This must have an impact on the children exposed to such an environment – and it can scarcely be positive.

That’s why I continue to take great joy in congratulating couples on their decades of life together. It is something that I hope every married couple aspires to on the day they make their vows. Restoring the permanent intentions of marriage would be a step in giving our children the best possible chance for their future and the society our grandchildren will inherit.